


pen pal-stuck

by BakaRamenBowl



Series: penpalstuck [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 06:18:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakaRamenBowl/pseuds/BakaRamenBowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>john and karkat are in second grade, and they have been assigned a pen pal. this is going to be fun!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. we get pen pals!

**Author's Note:**

> i have no clue how school works in england, so i will be basing it on the school system of the us.  
> so please forgive the awful errors in education.

School had been in session for three months for John Egbert. It was now the middle of november, just before Thanksgiving Break, and the teacher had just given the class really cool news! Their class had been chosen to be in a penpal program with a school in england! John jumped up and down in his seat in his excitement. That meant that he would have a friend halfway around the world! The teacher told him to calm down and then proceeded to explain that they would get the names of their soon to be pen pals after they returned from break. 

John couldn't wait! As soon as school was over for the day, he hopped onto his bus and sat next to his friend, Dave Strider. Dave was also in his class, and had moved to Washington over the summer. He had been raised in Texas, and had the accent. Some kids still made fun of him for the way he spoke, but John liked it. It was different, like his friends Rose and Jade. Jade had grown up on an island in the atlantic ocean with her grandpa, and had moved here in kindergarten. Rose had lived in New York with her mom until first grade, when she moved in across the street from John. Jade lived behind John's house, and Dave lived on the right. John lived on the corner, so that made them both his next door neighbors! And they all had older sibling, just like John did!

"Are ya really tha' e'cited take got a pen pal thingamajigger?" Dave asked, looking at John with his red eyes. Dave said he had a jeans mutation that made him what he called "al-dino", which was silly, because his jeans looked fine, and he wasn't a Dino named Al. 

 

John nodded happily, his rectangular glasses almost flying off his face. "It's not everyday that you get to talk to new people!"

 

At that moment, Jade popped her head over the seat in front of them. "John!" she giggled. "Are you forgetting that you find someone new to talk to everyday?"

"Yeah, but, this is a person from another country, Jadey!"

She giggled at the nickname, and turned to talk to Rose, who had just sat down beside her. 

John just settled for bouncing in his seat until he reached his stop, which was right outside his house! He ran inside and hurriedly told his dad about the good news. His older sister, Jane, was cooking for the holiday that was tomorrow. His dad said that he was proud of him, and Jane congratulated him on being grown up enough to have a pen pal.

John just knew that he was going to have a new friend.

-*-*-*-

When told the news that he was going to have to write to some arsehole in the United States of Fuck My Life, Karkat Vantas nearly punched a hole through the book he was trying to read. But he didn't. Only because it was his favorite book in the whole world. On A Pale Horse, by Peirs Anthony. Most adults would wonder how a child had gotten to read such an odd book for his age group, but then they didn't matter to Karkat. They all sucked as far as he was concerned.

In any case, Karkat didn't want to be part of this whole pen pal thing. He really just wanted to be left alone. But that's kind of hard to do when you have a twin brother who won't shut up, twin older sisters which obsess over cats, one of which was deaf, and twin step brothers who are both very bipolar, the same age as you, in your class, and one of them was mildly special needs. that and the fact that your dad divorced your mom to marry your step dad, and both are good friends still with your mom, who is your teacher... yeah. Karkat was never left alone. And he hated it.

Now they were expecting him to write to some idiot in the U.S.... he just wanted to curl up and die.

When he got home after school, Karkat went to his room and slammed the door. In fact, his room was like the first ten years of Harry Potter's life. But this was willingly. It was either his dads moved his bed under the stairs, or he smothered Kankri with his fucking disgusting red sweater. that fucking thing was obnoxious, and he never washed it, so it smelled horrible.

So yeah. His life fucking sucked.


	2. the first letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first letters exchanged between the two boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat doesn't censor his language. John thinks he's funny.

When John arrived at school the following week, the teacher had decided to give the students letters, after lunch, at random, and that was how the pen pals were decided. Rose had gotten a letter from a girl named Kanaya Maryam. Jade had gotten one from a boy named Tavros Nitram. Dave received one from a girl named Terezi Pyrope. And John's pen pal was named Karkat Vantas.

"HEY, DUMBDUMB.  
MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS. I DONT WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT ME, BUT MY TEACHER IS SCOLDING ME ABOUT IT. SO ILL FUCKING TELL YOU SHIT.  
I AM SEVEN YEARS OLD. I LIVE WITH MY DAD AND MY DAD AND MY MUM. I HAVE FIVE SIBLINGS. I LIKE FILMS. I HATE MUSHROOMS AND THE COLOUR RED. I HAVE A PET CAT, BUT THE FUCKING THING NEVER SHOWS ITS GODDAMNED FACE. AS IN EVER. I HAVE A SWEARING PROBLEM, BUT YOU COULD PROBABLY FUCKING TELL THAT. DONT EXPECT ME TO EVER WRITE YOU BACK. SO YOU MAY AS WELL NOT EVEN FUCKING TRY. ANY WAY, GOOD BYE FOREVER.  
KARKAT VANTAS."

John laughed so hard he puked on Dave, who sat next to him. Dave screamed like a girl and started crying. John started crying afterwards as well, because it hurt and he felt bad for Dave. Both boys were sent home and John was sent to bed. He was sick for the rest of the week, but he read and reread Karkat's letter every day.

-*-*-*-

Karkat watched as other students in his class received the letters from their pen pals as he read his advanced books and kept to himself. He wasn't sure if he was happy that the fucker who got his letter hadn't responded yet or if he wanted a reply. The other students were very happy with the letters that they had received, but since when did he care? Okay, he did care, but like hell he was going to show it. It took a week for the letters to arrive in Washington, and a week for them to be received in London. So it was a two week wait.

But when his classmates had received their second letters, he received his first.

"hello karkat!  
my name is john egbert, and I guess I'm your new pen pal! I live with my dad and my older sister jane. she likes to bake as much as my dad does and as much as my late nanna did. nanna died last year because of a car crash. i miss her a lot.   
why do you have two dads and a mom? i never knew my mom. my sister told me that she died so that i could live, but i don't believe her. i know that i killed her when i was born, but dad and jane keep telling me not to think like that.   
what are your sibling like? do you have lots of fun with them?  
my friend rose doesn't have a dad. she said that she was the result of a 'one night stand', which i don't get because how can night stand? and my friend jade doesn't have parents but she lives with her grandpa. he's really funny, and he likes blue girls, whatever that means. my friend dave doesn't have parents either, and he lives with his two brothers. jade has an older brother and rose has an older sister.  
but i think my dad likes rose's mom. she's pretty, and nice, even though she likes to drink stuff that makes her act weird and dad says that i can't drink it till i'm older.  
i don't have any pets, but my sister has a pet bunny that i named liv tyler. you know, like the actress?  
i like movies too. my favorite is con air! nic cage is so cool! he's my favorite actor ever! i wanna be just like him when i grow up!  
i like mushrooms, but only fresh. i can't stand canned mushrooms. those are so gross. i think red is an okay color. dave has red eyes, and that's really cool! he says he's "Al-dino". but i don't get it.  
i don't care if you swear. i think it's funny! i like funny things and people, and you are one of the funniest i have ever met!  
gosh, i do hope you write back! it would be so sad to have only gotten one letter from you.  
sincerely, john egbert."

Krakat flushed in embarrassment. John was an odd person. He had been warned that Karkat wouldn't write him back. 

Yet, later that evening as he sat in his cupboard under the stairs, he found himself with his notebook and a pen, writing John Egbert a reply.


	3. Karkat's Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> presents!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE A KARKAT FIRST!

Karkat glowered at his parents and siblings on christmas morning. Not only did Mituna jump on him to wake him up, but kankri would not shut up, like usual. Nepeta and Meulin has managed to get pancake mix all over the kitchen floor, and Sollux was in a fairly pissy mood. His dad was curled up on his stepdad's lap, and his mum was at the post office.  
When she returned, everyone was ushered into the living room, as usual, and they opened their presents. Karkat screamed by the time he was through with opening his. Everyone of his family members had gotten him the exact same thing. sweaters. and socks.  
"What the fuck am I supposed to do with eight fucking sweaters!?!" Karkat screamed, throwing them in the air.  
"Karkat, you shoul-"  
"Shut the fuck up Kankri! I'm fucking triggered as fuck right now!"  
"Trigger?"  
"FUCK YOU!" He screamed into his twin's face and stormed off to his cupboard.  
\---  
About two hours later, there was a knock on his cupboard.

"What?" He said, sulkily.  
"Karkitty?" It was his mother's voice. He unlocked his door and pushed it open, glaring half-heartedly at her.  
"you have another present, kitten." she said, smiling softly at him.   
He moved over so she could sit on his bed with him, and she handed him the box when she was settled. There was a note, so he opened it first.

"hey, karkat! merry christmas! i really hope you get this on time! it's just something you mentioned in your last letter, so i decided to get it for you. enjoy! john egbert"

The albino boy quickly opened his present, excited. could it really be? Yes! It was! It was a rom com that he hadn't seen yet! One that he had wanted to own for about a year now. Karkat's hands started shaking as tears welled up in his eyes. He had done what he though was impossable for him.

He had made a friend.


	4. John's New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat returns the favor.

John's dad gave him the present on new years day. John opened the letter first, almost ripping it in his excitement. Jane giggled at the look of aw on his face. 

"HEY BUTT FACE,  
THANKS FOR THE PRESENT. IT WAS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER. ESPECIALLY SINCE I RECEIVED EIGHT IF THE SAME FUCKING SWEATERS. WELL, AT LEAST I CAN TROLL PEOPLE WITH THEM.  
BUT... I COULDN'T THINK OF WHAT TO GET YOU IN RETURN. NOTHING I COULD GET YOU WOULD MAKE YOU HAVE THE SAME REACTION THAT I HAD OVER GETTING THAT DVD. SO IM GOING TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER GIVEN TO ANYBODY BEFORE. NOT TRULY, AT LEAST. IM GIVING YOU MY FRIENDSHIP. MY HONEST TO FUCKING GOD FRIENDSHIP. THERE HAS ONLY BEEN ONE PERSON WHO GOT CLOSE TO BEING MY FRIEND BEFORE, AND HE ENDED UP BECOMING ONE OF MY STEP BROTHERS. AND NOW I CAN NOT FUCKING STAND HIM. SO HERE IT IS. I, KARKAT FREDERICK VANTAS, HEREBY DECLARE THAT JOHN EGBERT IS MY VERY FIRST FRIEND. THIS MEANS THAT HE WILL BE THE ONE I WILL SHARE EVERYTHING WITH, MY FEARS, MY SECRETS, MY DREAMS, MY EMOTIONS. JOHN, THIS IS A HUGE RESPONSABLITY. PLEASE DONT LET ME DOWN.  
YOUR FRIEND, KARKAT VANTAS"

John was shocked. Karkat's handwriting was shaky, like he was terrified to write this. And it looked like he had cried on the page.  
Karkat trusted him enough to give him his friendship. John opened the tiny box that had come with the letter, and cried. he then took out the small charm bracelet and put it on. there was only one charm on it, and it was half a heart that said BE FRI on it. He could only guess that Karkat had the other half.


	5. spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another two pov chapter. John first!

John arrived at school on the thirteenth of April. Letters from penpals had arrived today, and the teacher passed them out. Only six students had continued writing to their pen pals. There was Diva and Hanna, then Dave, Jade, Rose and himself. Everyone else had gotten bored of the program. as the other five students opened their letters, the teacher brought a box over to John's desk. It was the size of a shoebox, and it had a letter taped to the top.

"HEY EGBERT,  
HAPPY EIGHTH BIRTHDAY, DUMMY. I SAW THIS, AND I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD LIKE IT, SO HERE, ENJOY THE FUCK OUT OF IT.  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KARKAT VANTAS."

John opened the box and inside was a stuffed yellow salamander! He squealed in glee and hugged the thing. 

"Her name is Casey!" He squealed as he looked her over more carefully. She had blue eyes, just like him! and the inside of her mouth was blue too!

None of his other gifts even came close to Casey. She was his favorite, and it was instantly that she became his favorite toy in the world.

-*-*-*-

By the time the next letters came in, Karkat had begun to worry himself sick. What if his friend didn't like the present? what if John wanted to stop being his friend over it?  
His teacher set a large package on his desk, and he carefully opened the letter attached to it.

"thank you so much, karkat! i named her casey, and she is the best present ever! except for the charm bracelet. the charm taped to this letter is one of a matching set. i have the other one on my wrist! i hope you like the thank you present! it took me forever to get it ready!  
your friend, john egbert"

Karkat looked and taped to the paper was a silver flower charm for the chain on his wrist. He quickly attached it to a free link and opened the box with scissors. As soon as it was free from the tape, a few dozen flowers sprang into the air, and fell on him, his desk, and the students around him. He tried his hardest not to smile, but on the inside flaps of the box were the words: Have a wonderful day.

"John you fucking retard..." Karkat said, shaking his head with a grin. He didn't even mind having to pick up the flowers later. He had the best friend in the whole world.


End file.
